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Thursday, May 24, 2007
Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged
Roy Pearson is a judge in Washington D.C. He's also a giant dick. He's suing his neighborhood dry cleaner for $67 million for "losing" his favorite pair of pants. He said he was really looking forward to wearing them on his first day on the bench, even though every judge I've ever seen wears a robe. He could be wearing no pants at all under there and no one would ever know!
He's claiming that the Korean couple who owns the dry cleaner committed fraud because they had signs in their window reading "Satisfaction Guaranteed" and "Same Day Service." And, oh, by the way, the dry cleaner insists they found his pants a few days after they went missing, but the dickhead claims they weren't his pants.
The case comes before a real judge soon. If he doesn't throw this case out, and make the fake judge pay a whole shitload of money to the Korean couple for all the mental anguish he caused, Congress should seriously consider abandoning the jury system altogether.
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Posted by Doug DeLong at 5:06 PM