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We're baaaaack...!! It's election time in America again, which means it's prime time for nuts, dicks, and boobs! Please feel free to welcome us back by sending any sort of food or - of course - tube socks. Also, it would be fun if you would leave some comments. (Unless, of course, they're negative comments. I mean - who needs that?)

Monday, June 4, 2007

A Sad Day in Japan

My adopted country of Japan is in mourning today after getting the news that Takeru Kobayashi's hot-dog eating record of 53 3/4 weiners was broken, nay, shattered by Joey Chestnut, who scarfed down 59 1/2 dogs in a mere 12 minutes.

I, for one, am outraged. Just a quick look at this photo of Mr. Chestnut (if that is, indeed, his real name) will demonstrate that he's been using steroids for years. Is this really the role model we want our children to emulate?

Seriously, though, I've never really understood the appeal of a "sport" where the idea is to stuff yourself silly in a short period of time. I may be wrong, but I'm guessing that eating in this manner can't be all that good for you. I wonder what the life expectancy is for these guys.

In America, where obesity is at an all-time high, maybe we could find a healthier way to compete in the food arena. Here's an idea...my mom always told me to chew each bite 40 times. How about a contest to find the person who can chew one bite the most times?

The good news is that, as I embark on my first really serious diet in a very long time, watching these goofballs pig out is actually acting as motivation for me.

One more thing...could someone please explain to all those idiots in the video that Japanese people and Chinese people are not the same. Really, they're not. Jeez.

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