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Saturday, June 23, 2007

Get Your Filthy Hands Off Me!

(Video from Family Guy)

At Fairfax County middle school in Virginia, you can get busted for touching another human being. Not just inappropriate touching - any touching at all, anytime, anywhere. That means you can't shake hands when being introduced to someone, you can't high-five your buddy when you ace the big test, and you can't grab the ass of that cute girl in your chem lab (okay, maybe that's a bad example).

It's all because of the ridiculous "no-touching" rule at the school. It's the latest example of how idiot adults who run many of America's school systems overreact to a problem. When confronted with a gnat, they get out the old elephant gun and mow it down. If you've had a couple of problems with inappropriate touching, just outlaw ALL touching. Makes perfect sense.

Maybe it's time, though, to get really serious about the problem. Why not issue stun guns to all the students? That way, if someone gets too close to another student, and appears to be considering an illegal touch, a quick zap to the midsection will straighten out the offender and save him a trip to the principal's office.

Just a thought.

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