Protect Yourself With Magic Underwear

Mormons are finding themselves under more scrutiny than usual, in that they've got one of their own running for President. One of the more curious aspects of their faith that's come to light is the "magic underwear" or "temple garment," as the faithful would prefer to call it, worn by many Mormons. According to Wikipedia, "Adherents consider them to be sacred and may be offended by public discussion of the garments," so if you're an adherent, you should stop reading now.

The underwear is called "magic" by some because it is believed that they protect the wearer from evil and physical harm.

You know, I bet Superman was a Mormon. It must have been his magic underwear that caused bullets and falling rocks to bounce right off him. If the Mormons were smart, they'd make them available to everyone. Imagine the price that people would be willing to pay to make themselves invincible in this age of terrorism. The Mormons would make a fortune.