In a shocking development, Mickey Mouse, the quintessential American mouse, has given up his American citizenship and joined Hamas, widely considered to be a terrorist organization.
Asked what motivated him to do such a surprising turnabout, Mickey squeaked, "I guess I just got tired of being exploited by the Disney corporate machine. They made me work 18-hour days, fed me really shitty cheese, and wouldn't let me shack up with Minnie. Hey, I've got needs."
When asked for comment, Minnie said, "To tell you the truth, I was going to dump him anyway. We had some fun times, but lately he's become such a twit."
The Disney corporation is currently engaged in preliminary discussions with Mighty Mouse about the possibility of him assuming Mickey's duties.
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