We're baaaaack...!! It's election time in America again, which means it's prime time for nuts, dicks, and boobs! Please feel free to welcome us back by sending any sort of food or - of course - tube socks. Also, it would be fun if you would leave some comments. (Unless, of course, they're negative comments. I mean - who needs that?)
Time to go to church for some hot gospel music. The Blind Boys of Alabama have been singing since 1939, and they sound better than ever. They've won the Grammy for Best Traditional Soul Gospel Album 5 years running, and in 2002 were inducted into the Gospel Music Hall of Fame. Enjoy The Boys rendition of Run On.
Some people say (to use a favorite Fox News technique) that conservatives have no sense of humor, that they aren't very hip, that they've had their funny bone surgically removed. Well, now there's a new show on Fox News called The 1/2 Hour News Hour that aims to dispel all those silly myths, and two of the funniest conservatives ever, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter, are contributing their talents to the show.
So sit back and enjoy Rush and Ann as they pretend to be the President and Vice-President of the United States (yes, I know it sounds more like the premise for a horror movie). I'm sure you'll especially appreciate the high-quality laugh track (I guess it must have been difficult to find enough people to fill an actual studio).
Be sure to wear some old clothes, because you won't want to get your good clothes dirty as you're rolling around on the floor.
One substance causes cancer and the other substance doesn't (but it does sometimes make you want to snack.) One substance causes heart disease and the other substance doesn't (but it does make you feel happy). One substance kills and the other substance doesn't (but it does help people who are very sick.) One substance can be bought freely in stores and vending machines. The other substance can be bought in the shadows (but you could go to prison if you're caught.)
So I guess it makes complete sense that tobacco is legal and accepted, but (in America) someone is arrested on marijuana charges about every 40 seconds. Since 1993, more than 8,000,000 people have been arrested for cannabis, including 786,545 people in 2005. Most arrests (about 88%) are for mere possession.
It wasn't always this way, of course. Before 1937, you could buy marijuana at your local grocer or even at newsstands. But when groups representing synthetic fiber makers that competed with hemp began lobbying Congress, they suddenly decided that it would be a good idea to pass the 1937 Marijuana Tax Act (against the advice of the American Medical Association at that time). The steep tax effectively put an end to the legal cannabis trade.
Around the same time, the government, in the form of one Harry J. Anslinger, head of the newly-formed Federal Bureau of Narcotics, began producing anti-marijuana propaganda films (Reefer Madness being the most famous). These "educational" government films were designed to show how smoking marijuana was responsible for everything evil in the world.
Our friend Harry was a very quotable fellow. He once implied that "musicians, not good ones, but the jazz type" smoked marijuana, and on another occasion spoke about the danger of marijuana making white women want to have sex with black men.
The push to outlaw marijuana in the '30s was part of a broader effort to outlaw all drugs, including alcohol. America came to its senses and repealed alcohol prohibition after a few years. It's "high" time to do the same for cannabis.
Amy, my friend and Planet Japan co-host, loves cows and has requested that I post more cow stuff. So enjoy the legendary and inspirational tale of Cows With Guns.
What's 60,000 square feet and cost $27 million? It's the first-ever Creation Museum, and it's getting ready to open its doors! Peacefully located somewhere in the Greater Cincinnati area, the museum has answered the prayers of millions of people who just can't swallow the monkey business known as evolution.
The museum will show everyone who has an open mind how the earth was created only about 6000 years ago, and how humans and dinosaurs lived happily together (just watch The Flintstones)!
If, after visiting the museum, you still cling to the ridiculous idea that the dinosaurs died out about 65 million years ago, the museum website reminds us that...
Scientists do not dig up anything labeled with those ages. They only uncover dead dinosaurs and their bones do not have labels attached telling how old they are. The idea of millions of years of evolution is just the evolutionists’ story about the past. No scientist was there to see the dinosaurs live through this supposed dinosaur age. In fact, there is no proof whatsoever that the world and its fossil layers are millions of years old. No scientist observed dinosaurs die. Scientists only find the bones in the here and now, and because many of them are evolutionists, they try to fit the story of the dinosaurs into their view.
So there you are. Dinosaur bones do not have labels attached telling how old they are. Case closed.
The Pentagon has decided that YouTube is cool, and that it's the perfect place to get out their propaganda. Like the President always says, the media never shows all the good stuff happening in Iraq. All they want to show people are the bombings, and the killings, and the massacres. But you know what? People are getting, like, super bored with all that stuff. It's like watching reruns everyday, for crying out loud!
So the boys in the funny-shaped building have put together a channel on YouTube called MNF-IRAQ (Multi-National Forces-Iraq). They're going to let the people watch all the fun stuff that's happening in Iraq, like all the happy Boy Scouts getting ready for their big jamboree, with the help, of course, of the U.S. military. Can you imagine how hard it would have been for these poor boys to set up their jamboree if we hadn't invaded their country?
So thank God somebody is finally telling the truth about Iraq. Watching these spunky youngsters makes me proud to be an American! Thank you, Mr. President! God Bless You, sir!
Man, I could listen to this vampy, sultry songstress all night. She is just about the hottest thing going these days. Enjoy the title song from her Number 1 album, Back to Black.
Poor O.J. Life outside of those prison walls just keeps getting harder and harder. Now he can't even get served a decent meal in Louisville, Kentucky.
In town for the Derby, O.J. was hungry and wandered into a local steakhouse with a party of 12. After a customer went up to O.J. and started fawning over him, the owner, Jeff Ruby, promptly told O.J. that he would not be served. He said...
I didn't want that experience in my restaurant. Seeing Simpson get so much attention makes me sick to my stomach....He continues to torture the lives of the families whose lives he ruined. This was the only thing I could do for the victims' families. I didn't want to serve him because of my convictions of what he's done to those families... with his behavior, attitude and conduct.
Simpson agreed to leave, but left the dirty work to his lawyer, Yale Galanter, who later claimed that the entire incident was about race, and threatened to go after the restaurant's liquor license. He was quoted as saying, "He screwed with the wrong guy, he really did."
According to Ruby, other restaurant patrons stood and applauded after Simpson left.
You would think that Hannity and Limbaugh, with all the money they make, would feel a responsibility to make sure a story is true before they report it. If they were to come across a story, for example, that says thousands of Japanese women were conned into buying sheep that they thought were poodles, you'd think they would use their common sense and say, "Hmm, maybe I should double-check this story."
But not our boys. They just forged ahead and reported as a straight news story what a quick check with snopes.com would have told them was an urban legend. I guess they just couldn't pass up a chance to report how goofy all those foreigners are. I suppose it makes them feel better about themselves.
This, of course, comes on the heels of Hannity and other right-wingers reporting Sheryl Crow's obvious "one square" joke as a straight news story. Come on, guys. Stop being so damn lazy. Earn your money. Be professional. Is that too much to ask?
Karl Rove's dream of a one-party country may yet come true. Unfortunately for him, it might not be the Republican party. Thanks to Karl and George and Dick and Donald, the Republican party could be in mortal danger.
The political problem of the Bush administration is grave, possibly beyond the point of rescue...There are grounds for wondering whether the Republican party will survive this dilemma.
Peter Towery, writing in Human Events, a conservative online magazine, wrote with alarm that, in a recent poll:
"about four out of 10 Americans favor impeaching the president and vice president. But the biggest news from this survey is not the overall results, but the opinions of independent voters, who usually decide presidential elections. Forty-two% of independents want Bush and Cheney impeached. These aren't just voters who disapprove of the White House. Instead, they're for initiating a process that could remove them from office...The astounding public sentiment expressed in this poll illustrates just how far Bush and Cheney may have set their party back."
I don't think impeachment is in the cards, although I think there is a strong case to be made for it. I do think that there will be people taking a hard look at bringing Bush and Company up on various charges after they leave office, however.
In the meantime, Republicans look a lot like the Roadrunner (beep, beep) as they frantically run away from Bush.
(Video from Japanese media)
You would think that Hannity and Limbaugh, with all the money they make, would feel a responsibility to make sure a story is true before they report it. If they were to come across a story, for example, that says thousands of Japanese women were conned into buying sheep that they thought were poodles, you'd think they would use their common sense and say, "Hmm, maybe I should double-check this story."
But not our boys. They just forged ahead and reported as a straight news story what a quick check with snopes.com would have told them was an urban legend. I guess they just couldn't pass up a chance to report how goofy all those foreigners are. I suppose it makes them feel better about themselves.
This, of course, comes on the heels of Hannity and other right-wingers reporting Sheryl Crow's obvious "one square" joke as a straight news story. Come on, guys. Stop being so damn lazy. Earn your money. Be professional. Is that too much to ask?
Paris Hilton was recently sentenced to 45 days in jail for a probation violation. Apparently she is now trying to get Gov. Schwarzenegger to pardon her on the grounds that she's beautiful. An online petition urges the governor to pardon Hilton "because she provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives."
Not Guilty by Reason of Beauty may seem like a novel defense, but now there are rumors that if Gov. Arnold springs Paris, Phil Spector, on trial for murder, will try using it, too.
Put the kids to bed and enjoy the musical stylings of The Pussycat Dolls as they sing Sway. It's from the movie Shall We Dance? In the words of the renowned philosopher Paris Hilton, It's hot!
Now that the conservative candidate, Nicolas Sarkozy, has won the French presidential election, maybe American conservatives can stop bashing the French. After France refused to blindly endorse Bush in his rush to war, they suddenly became The Great Satan in the eyes of many American right-wingers. French jokes were all the rage. Freedom Fries? Now that we know that the French were right about the war, do you think that we might owe them an apology?
Of course, even though the president-elect of France is a conservative, he is against the Iraq war. It's just about impossible to find anyone these days who will admit to believing that the war was a grand idea and worth the sacrifice of American lives and treasure.
Jim Zumbo had carved out a very successful career for himself as the gun editor for Outdoor Life magazine since 1962. He was also the host of his own cable TV show on The Outdoor Channel. He had been a member of the NRA for 40 years.
Suddenly, last February, he was fired by Outdoor Life magazine and fired from his cable TV show. The NRA suspended their professional ties with him.
What dastardly deed had precipitated this draconian punishment? A handful of words, published on a blog, did him in. After learning that the number of prairie-dog hunters who were using assault-style rifles was increasing, he wrote these words...
Sorry, folks, but in my humble opinion these things have no place in hunting. We don't need to be lumped into the group of people who terrorize the world with them...I'll go so far as to call them 'terrorist' rifles.
Apparently, there is a large group of gun-nuts out there who believe they must have the right to use any gun for any purpose (and probably also believed that he was equating them with "terrorists"). But Zumbo was not even calling for a ban on the rifles. He was just saying that he didn't think it was very sporting to use these weapons when hunting. He even apologized for his "gaffe." But it did no good. In the bat of an eye, his long career was over.
It just doesn't pay to tell the truth sometimes.
If this is the way gun-lovers treat their friends, you don't want to be their enemy. If you discover that you have become their enemy, you'd better go out and get a gun. You may need it.
As George W. Bush stumbles and bumbles his way through the English language, the question must be asked, "Is he really the boob that he appears to be, or is he just, well, inarticulate?"
It's not that he just occasionally uses the wrong word or sometimes makes up completely new words (misunderestimate?), it's his entire demeanor. It's not very presidential. Is it really too much to expect a president to appear to be presidential? Listening to him is too often like listening to a 12-year-old trying his best to explain something to an audience of 4-year-olds (I'm the decider? I'm the commander guy?)
I think the truth is that he knows that he's in way over his head in this job. I don't think he ever really wanted the job. He'd just as soon be hanging out on the ranch clearing brush and telling dirty jokes with his buddies. But he was thrust into the job and now the stress of it all is getting to him.
As proof of my thesis, take a look at this video of him speaking when he was running for governor of Texas. He's a different person, one who can complete a sentence that actually makes sense. Maybe once he's left office he'll find his voice again.
Two prominent men have recently stepped forward to tell the truth about how we got into Iraq. The question for both of them is "What the hell took you so long?"
George Tenet, the former CIA director, has written a new book in which he tells us that the Bushies did not pay attention to his dire warnings about 9/11. He also claims that there was no significant debate about the wisdom of invading Iraq before launching the attack.
Carne Ross, a British diplomat who was Britain's top expert on Iraq at the UN before the start of the war, has also written a new book. In it, he describes the case for war which was presented by the U.S. and Britain as "a gross exaggeration of what we knew." He goes to say that Britain's behavior at the U.N. at that time "was, at best, manipulative and, at worst, dishonest."
Of course, most of what they're now saying can be filed in the No shit, Sherlock file. Most people have already figured all this out. So while these men should be given credit for finally telling the truth, the question has to be asked, "Why didn't you scream this to the world when it could have done some good? Why didn't you resign in protest? Why didn't you do everything you could to stop these idiots from launching a war that you knew was bullshit? How many lives could you have saved?"
Tenet says that he tried to work within the sytem to stop it. Ross now says, "I am ashamed that I didn't speak up earlier. I was afraid to. Friends of mine who were encouraging me to suggested I should have. I was too afraid. I was too attached to my career. I regret it."
There are those times in one's life, when one feels downtrodden, forlorn, bereft of joy, stuck in a soulless malaise. When those moments occur, there is really only one cure...
There is a new movie coming out soon called The Killing of John Lennon. It's a psychological study into the sick, twisted mind of Mark David Chapman, the assassin who gunned down Lennon in front of his New York City apartment building in 1980.
In many ways, Lennon's shooting was a precursor to the school shootings and other horrible murders that now blanket the American landscape. Many of these killers were motiviated to commit their crimes in order to experience the fame that goes along with being a notorious criminal (even if they didn't survive to see it). Most of them had, no doubt, been living desperate lives with no real joy or purpose. Chapman was quoted as saying, after he shot Lennon, "I was nobody until I killed the biggest somebody on earth."
The question I have is, regardless of the merits of this movie, will it inspire other Mark David Chapmans to seek out their own moments of fame? I suppose there is value to be had in trying to understand what was happening in Chapman's sick mind, but I think I'd rather see a movie that celebrates the joy and wisdom of John Lennon, one of the true visionary musical geniuses of our time.
Mitt Romney is a Republican who wants to be President. Mitt Romney is also a Mormon. So, of course, there's a certain amount of speculation as to whether or not the American people are willing to put a Mormon in the White House. Are people afraid that he'll take his marching orders from Salt Lake City or are they willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on this question?
The last time that religion played a major part in a campaign was in 1960 when John F. Kennedy was campaigning to become the country's first Catholic president. That worked out fine for JFK, after he assured everyone that he wouldn't take his marching orders from Rome.
But I think there's a big difference between being a Catholic running for president and being a Mormon running for the highest office in the land. Catholicism is a mainstream religion, and Mormonism is, well, kinda nutty. Romney probably didn't help his cause recently when he stated that his favorite book was Battlefield Earth, a sci-fi novel written by L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology, the only so-called religion higher up on my nut-o-meter than Mormonism.
But Romney's real problem is that he's a George Bush clone, a Dubya wannabe. Now why in God's name (or Joseph Smith's name) would anyone wannabe George W. Bush? But Romney has done whiplash-inducing 180's on key social issues like abortion and gay rights in order to appeal to the 28%ers. This, of course, has opened him up to charges of being a flip-flopper, willing to change positions on a dime in the name of political expediency.
Romney found himself down at Pat Robertson's so-called law school, Regent University, a couple of days ago, pandering to Rev. Pat, even though Robertson has declared that Mormonism is a cult (a rare point of agreement between myself and Pat). On Robertson's website, he states, "The Mormon church is a prosperous, growing organization that has produced many people of exemplary character, but when it comes to spiritual matters, the Mormons are far from the truth." Apparently Pat Robertson has a monopoly on the truth.
I think this is the core problem for Romney. He needs Robertson's zealous base to win, but in the end, fundamentalist Christians will turn away from him because he's a Mormon.
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